She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
