that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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