currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
