My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
third nipple confirmed
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
