Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
