I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
