remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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