i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
