So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
