we made out on top of his cat.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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