Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
