DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
