he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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