I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
