Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
