I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
