it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you made out with another girl for some wings
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
