I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
