How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
