You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
