He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
