yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
