wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
