They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
