hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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