Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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