Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
