the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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