You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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