whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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