I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
