Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
