Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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