i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
