I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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