It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize