the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
