some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
