I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
tell me about the eggs
Randomize