dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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