shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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