I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
