You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
