I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
