apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm having to shit out rocks
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
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