Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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