Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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