cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
