i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
