on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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