Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The uberlube is also flammable
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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