Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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