i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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