Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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