Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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