The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
