I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
