I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
