Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
