I just saw a hot homeless man
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Life is so much better after having sex.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
