Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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