why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
